My Beard Smells Like Jelly Beans

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This isn’t a sponsored post. Though it should be for all the praise I’ll be writing.

I should mention that Beard Lab (the makers of the beard oil I’m talking about in this post) do advertise on Bristlr. That’s actually how I first heard of their products. One of my jobs here at BristlrHQ is to manually approve each and every ad which runs on the desktop version of Bristlr. Whilst doing this a few weeks ago I found myself with the biggest smile in the world whilst approving an advert titled “Jelly Bean beard oil!”.

Oh yes.

I ordered a bottle out of pure instinct. You can too, here, if you’re feeling the urge. And I am happy to report it’s every bit as good as you’re dreaming it is.

I use beard oil right after a nice hot shower and a towel dry. Three or four drops is plenty.

This oil smells so good.

There’s an initial strong and sweet smell of fruity sugar, which makes way to more of a fresh floral scent. It’s an interesting transition, and it works really well preventing the sweetness from being too overwhelming. The scent settles into a very sweet and light citrusy flavour which lasts at least all day.

I’ve found with a lot of the more floral oils, there’s a tendency for them to smell stale as the day wears on on. None of that here. Or if there is, the sweet notes cover them well.

If you’re like me and a fan of the very-sweet, I’d highly recommend the lime and pomegranate “Hades” from Bath Sabbath, and the divine Chocolate Orange oil from Beards in Arms.

I should also mention, sadly, that the Honey Bourbon Beard Balm from TreeBeard does not make your bead smell like you just poured honey bourbon in it. Much to my disappointment. It’s a really great balm…. but still. It’s way more cedarwood than bourbon.

If you have any oil recommendations, please do share them in the comments!

And if you make stuff you think Bristlr users would be interested in, you can try our ad platform for free at admanager.bristlr.com. We’ll happily give you some free impressions to trial the service, just send me an email (john@bristlr.com). And don’t suck. We don’t accept paid reviews, and whilst you’re welcome to send us samples (we do like free stuff), it won’t make any difference to how much we love you.

How to Temporarily Try Out The Merbeard

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We noticed you enjoyed our Merbeards last week, so here’s a guide on how to temporarily achieve one!

What’s a Merbeard I hear you ask? A Merbeard is the art of dyeing one’s beard a funky colour, but shades of green or blue work best. Red could also work, if you’re going for that Disney look.

Like many beard owners I was intrigued by the Merbeard but not sure I was willing to bleach and dye my beard. Bleach doesn’t wash out and it can have some nasty effects on hair, from split ends to the dreaded snap-off. After losing an entire fringe to bleach back in 2013 (since recovered), I’ve been a bit wary of the stuff ever since.

It seemed like the Merbeard was beyond my grasp. That was until I met my current boyfriend, who’s very keen to go all the way with his Merbeard obsession. We found a temporary method to test out the Merbeard – Hair chalk!

I’ll warn you now; this is messy stuff! I would strongly recommend having some make up wipes at hand! I went with Derma V10 Chalk It Up, which cost me a whopping £0.99 from Bodycare! Alternatively, Kara McGrath recommends simply using artists soft pastels.

Okay, so your first step is to not wear anything you like. Get out the mess clothes. You might also want to don some latex gloves. Now get that beard wet (and your hair too if you want to go all out)! Because beard hair can be a bit coarser compared to the hair on top of your head, it’s pretty much impossible to get this stuff on to a dry beard. If you’ve just beard oiled up and don’t want to waste, maybe try this out later.

It’s so easy to get this stuff on your skin, yet so difficult to get off; accuracy is key. What you want to do is pull sections of your beard taut and then using your other hand run the chalk along this section (on the underside too for the best effect). You might need to do this a few times before the colour starts to show. Don’t panic if it looks dark (unless you’re beard is a bright colour, in which case it’s probably already showing), in natural light once your beard is dry it will be pretty vibrant.

Okay, so you’ve got a colourful streak in your beard now! You can stop there if you like, maybe that’s all you want. If you want to go all the way, start segmenting your beard and repeating that step of running the chalk along segments of beard held taut.

Once your whole beard is covered you might need to fill out the edges. Gently, without holding your beard, fill in the edges on your cheeks in a downward motion. This is probably when you’ll start getting the stuff on your skin. Do that same downward motion with a wipe and hope for the best, there really is no exact science to that, but hopefully only the skin underneath your beard will be covered.

The moustache can be tricky, depending on how much you have. For a thick one, it’s pretty much the same as your beard; pull taut, run chalk, colour. For a thinner moustache you might want to try very gently adding a bit of chalk to the centre then rubbing it along with your finger or one of those little eyebrow pencil brushes (they’re cheap in bodycare too!).

Almost done! Time for some clean up; you’ll probably need a fresh wipe for your face. Remember, downward motions towards the beard! Maybe your sink of shower needs a clean too… Don’t worry, it comes off easily!

So the tricky part is setting the colour. Heat can be helpful, and if you’ve got a tiny straightening iron that you can use on your beard then you’re set! Otherwise, crack out the hair dryer! After it’s all dry try some beard balm or wax to help set that stuff in place, wash your hands (it’s still going to come off a bit) and you’re set! Go stand in some natural light, get on Instagram and pick a good filter!

Top tip: If you want to avoid staining your neck, leave a layer underneath your beard uncoloured. Remember, this stuff is temporary and only to test out the Merbeard so it doesn’t have to look perfect, but chances are you won’t see the uncoloured under layer.

Want to Build Bristlr? We’re (Always) Hiring!

Bristlr (39 of 54)

If you’d like to work at Bristlr, you’ve just passed the first and most important step; wanting to work at Bristlr.

We’re not a normal company. We’re an early stage startup, and we’re a beard-focussed dating service with mighty ambitions and big plans.

People joining us are expected to be awesome. We’re looking for people who are excited by weird challenges and who can think on their feet. Everyone in a tiny company has a speciality, but we should all be able to at least understand (and sympathise with) what everyone else does. Transparency, honesty, and knowledge sharing is our goal.

The role

So you want to work at Bristlr? Awesome. Hi five! Next, we need to find you a job.

What are you good at, and what are we weak at? We don’t require any previous experience, as long as you’re a good learner. Here’s some notes to help you:

Technical

  • At our heart we’re a technology company.
  • Our stack is all JavaScript, all the way down (PhoneGap, jQuery, NodeJS). If you love JavaScript, we’ll love you. But no, we won’t use the new shiny framework everyone is raving on about. We all know it’ll be replaced in a year.
  • We sit atop Heroku and AWS, and love microservices.
  • “Brutally pragmatic agile” best describes our working practise. Generally we follow the sensible parts of agile-stuff (kanbans, standups, post-it notes, no backlogs, smugness etc.) but run away screaming from over-prescription.
  • TDD and pair programming is wonderful.
  • Done is better than perfect.

User experience

  • Our UI and our UX is core to the experience of using Bristlr. If you know how to build beautiful stuff, come and make us pretty.
  • Currently we use HTML5 for our apps, not native.

Growth

  • If you’re a beast at customer acquisition you’ll have fun here.
  • We prefer experimenting with new channels and methods, rather than relying on the tried & tested (and saturated) old channels.
  • We focus on tangible numbers and impact. For context; if we’re talking signups, then we’re measuring change in the thousands.

The hours

We care a lot more about the impact you have on the company, community, and product, than how many hours you work. We’ve also learned that the more flexible the hours you have, generally the better you are at getting stuff done. You choose your hours. Want a 40 hour week? Sorted. Want to only work on Wednesdays? That’s cool too. Choose what’s going to make you happiest, and feel free to experiment.

There will always be some contact hours (we’re based in Manchester and it’d be great if you were too, but it’s not essential) because we like working in pairs, sharing knowledge, and bouncing ideas around. Also, it’s totally your turn to make the brews.

We’re not going to expect you to clock in, sit down, do some set job, then clock out. We expect you to be making a difference.

The payment

Be realistic and be honest, and keep the number of hours/days you want to work in mind. How much money do you need to do this job and be happy? Don’t undercut yourself, it’s a dick move, and won’t work out in the long term. If you’re not sure, we’re happy to talk openly about this sort of stuff.

Application

Email john@bristlr.com with your CV and a job description for the job you want. And/or, if you’re in Manchester, find John, go for coffee (he’ll buy) and pitch your job, then yourself.

You’re also always welcome to pick our brains on any of this stuff, even if you have no intention of working for us. Knowledge sharing is a good thing.

If you think our methods are too unconventional, please write a job description for an HR manager and send it in, along with your CV.

10 Questions: MissSherwood (aka Jenny Andrews)

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  1. Do beards excite your loins? There’s only one answer.

Of course. *grins*

  1. By how much?

A lot. They are so damn manly.

  1. Which is your favourite beard? Why? tree fella

The Tree Fella. No messing, proper man beard.

  1. And your least favourite? Why?

The Safety Belt. Just bloody silly.

  1. Your famous beard crush is…

Guy Garvey off of Elbow. *sigh*

  1. What’s the best thing about Bristlr?

Just so many beautiful 2beards to look at. A new one to discover every day…

  1. If we could add any new feature to Bristlr, what would it be?

Instant messaging would be useful. As would be a sturdier app.

  1. Any ‘hairy’ moments you’d like to share from the romance bank? Go on…

One small incident involving a nestling crunchy nut cornflake, other than that nothing of note.

  1. Have you found love on Bristlr?

Not yet. Still shortlisting though…

  1. What does the future look like for you and Bristlr?

The future looks bright. A good daily dose of beard adoration is keeping morale high. Bravo lovely Bristlr people.